Break

Breaking a bad habit is hard.

When I reflect back on my college career as a current junior, I realize it’s been full of bad habits. It’s been a cycle of unhealthy thoughts, actions, and me trying desperately to escape from this habitual cycle to become “better” again by trying to change everything overnight.

And when I fail to get 100% “better”–which is 90% of the time–I become so unmotivated and disappointed in myself that I start hating myself. Even as I write this, I’m constantly berating myself for being unable to record my thoughts more succinctly and eloquently.

I’m convinced that my recent turmoils stem from my insecurities, ambivertness, and a great need to please and impress others.

Currently as a junior in the Michigan in Washington program, I’ve become more disenchanted by politics and political figures. I hate politics. And this means I also hate a lot of politicians.

The government is more often than not frustrating, inefficient, crooked…

I’ve met many government officials, private attorneys, professors, White House correspondents, executive directors of non-profits–all intellectual, tenacious, and accomplished figures in DC– but they all seem to put on a facade.

I don’t think anyone here is showing me who they are really.

I came here to make myself love politics; it’s not working so far.